No one can ever prepare you for becoming a parent. No amount of reading, advice or even money can prepare you for the changes ahead.
Often I’ve had the conversation with friends of ‘I’m not sure if I’m ready, or I’ll be ready when…’ My response is always the same, no one can ever truly be ready, there will always be reasons you aren’t ready for a baby. There just comes a time in your life when all you do doesn’t feel enough, working, drinking, playing, learning it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough, and suddenly the want for a child takes over and you realise it’s ok to not have it all and that the ‘all’ is really creating a family.
For me the desire came just as I began my teacher training. I loved my career, had it all planned out and children came right at the end of that path. Then during training, after 2.5yrs with my partner I began to feel like something was missing, where I’d once loved going into schools, being with children and watching them learn and develop I suddenly felt like I was missing out. I would watch the parents at pick up and wish that was me.
So I broached the subject with my partner, he was still at university (late starter) and fully focused on his career. We decided, well I more agreed to disagree that the time wasn’t right. With both of us in education, working part time and living at our parents it just couldn’t happen, no matter how much we wanted it.
Now I’ll cut the middle bit of arguments, depression and boring stuff to say 1 year later we had a beautiful baby girl. She changed our lives, I didn’t become a teacher instead I chose to be a mother. My partner got a first in his degree, pushed by the imminent arrival of his first child, he worked hard with a desire to create a family with me, (at this point I have to say how lucky I am to have someone so supportive and wanting this family with me, more cheese!).
Now 6.5 years on we have 3!! 3 amazing little beings that we created together, we have our ups and downs but nothing in this world could give me the love and happiness that my family do.
My partner now runs a very successful programming company, and I work part time as a content manager having done so for 3 years. It’s hard sometimes but we make it all work.
I believe you’ll never truly be ready, just one day the thoughts change from can we to shall we and when they do dive right in!
Now not everyone is the same, not everyone wants children, a family, it just never hits them like it hits others, and that’s ok too. But I’m guessing if your reading this you don’t really fall into that category 😉